A few weeks back I wrote about the "New Year, New Me" deal I was over seeing. You can read about that here if you missed it.
But I've been thinking over the past week and I think what all of the "New Year, New Me" ladies need is not a change of themselves, but perhaps a change in the company they keep.
You see I've been cleaning house so to speak as well. I recently quit a job I feel I've outgrown, (and then un-quit when I got what I really wanted, which was a promotion) I've physically been deep cleaning our townhouse as if it's going out of style and I've been changing some personal habits - more about that later - but the point is, I get it.
Sometimes you just need to get rid of some things.
Sometimes you just need to get rid of someone.
I am loyal to a fault. It's hurt me more than it's ever hurt anyone else. It's benefited people I wish never even knew my name, let alone gotten the advantage of being in my inner circle.
Regardless of the people who were able to walk on me, I remain loyal because not only am I loyal, but I don't make the same mistakes (often) so their loss is not going to be everyone's loss.
But maybe we need to understand the difference between loyalty and ignorance.
It is not actually that blissful.
Maybe we need to redefine loyalty in the context of relationships not to be synonymous with accepting anything less than the respect you deserve.
And believe me when I say I know how much easier said than done this is. I've been there and I've discussed it a little on this blog. But when you finally drop that person who's been using you as their floor mat...
That friend who isn't really a friend but only calls you when they need something you can provide...
A significant other who doesn't understand the definition of fidelity, or respect or just all around isn't right for you...
A job that needs you more than you need it and doesn't give you the appreciation you deserve...
I have to tell you it's a weight you will not miss.
And when you begin to doubt yourself or feel like maybe things will change think again.
As Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." The first time, not the 100th.
And that's not to say that people can't change because they most certainly do. My marriage is proof positive of that. But I also had to let a broken thing go for a better thing to come around, and even still it's not perfect and I have to take responsibility as an adult for the presence of the figurative "scars" that remain from our old days.
So the question I pose to you is, what are you holding on to?
What pops clearly to mind as something you need to get rid of in your life?
You are not a "fixer" and this isn't Scandal, honey.
Let Go and Let God.
He'll do a far better job than you at repairing the broken things of this world.
So if someone or something makes you want to change yourself, tell that thing (or person) to fly a kite.
Because you're awesome, and you should only change what and when you want to, as time permits and requires and organically. Not because something makes you feel less than fabulous.
Trust me, you'll feel ten times lighter for unloading the unnecessary passengers.