I think I've touched on this, but I have an awesome job. Great salary, no manual labor involved (except lifting files) - all in all it could be worse. I am good at what I do, honey!
But I came to a realization this year when I saw a quote. I think it was on instagram but I can't remember for sure. I do, however, remember word for word what it said: There's a difference between your career and your calling.
Anybody who has been around me for more than five minutes can tell you why the legal field is a match made in heaven for me. I'm not bragging here, just stating facts. I'm tenacious, aggressive when need be, tactful in the same respect, more capable than most at multitasking, and I take drama in stride. I don't run and hide when crap hits the fan and I'm not afraid of hard work.
So I've been doing this for some years now, and I make an excellent living. But I realized this year I wasn't really LIVING.
For all the intellect and polish I can put off from 8-5 each day, I am a creative powerhouse. That's what gets my blood pumping. When I have a project, I literally leap out of bed in the morning. I want to paint, draw, dance, sing, let's make something, can I put glitter on it?
That is what makes me feel alive.
I love art.
I love making crazy things that make people go hmmmm.
And then I come here and write about it.
That's my kind of passion.
I'm the girl who says "screw a bakery, today I learn to make cakes!"
Or wedding favors.
I can do ANYTHING. I haven't been stopped yet.
I like being covered in crap. Paint, makeup, chalk, charcoal, sugar. GIMME.
So what makes you tick? What makes you excited? What drags you out of your sleep because you just can't stand not to be doing it one more second?
DO MORE OF THAT.
I made a bold decision that I will share with you, because I want you to make this proclamation with me:
In 2015, I will stop worrying about a paycheck.
YUP. That's what I said.
My focus has shifted. I'm not quitting my day job, or dropping law school. I'm not THAT crazy (yet). But I'm going to let go of my fears that keep me thinking that this is the only way that I can sustain my lifestyle. I'll be okay if I'm not super-paralegal on top of everything else.
I'm going to quit having nightmares about things going wrong on cases when it's Saturday. Stop shoving my children out of the car so that I can run to make sure I get a jump on the day before my boss. I won't cut you off in traffic because there's a Monday morning meeting.
I'm going to put that energy and focus into figuring out how this passion can sustain me. You should too. I'm honing my skills - remembering what makes me tick and sharing it with the world.
It will be work, but at least I'll enjoy it. And one day, I'll look back on 2014, just like I look back on 2008, when I walked away from a full college scholarship to start a family, and say "You made a good choice kid." I know I will. I always do.
The path to success isn't straight and narrow. It's a winding road. I'm good with that. My definition of success never had much to do with money anyway, although I always seem to make it work somehow.
What do you want to do? Remember, Dreams Don't Work, Unless You Do.