I know a little (a lot) about dealing with people who grind my gears. SERIOUSLY. I mean if you consider my profession alone as a paralegal, you know that I work with some very opinionated people, not to mention the clients. It can be a bit much. I also married my opposite; and while that means he balances me out in a good way, we can also disagree in a not so good way. People in general can be just plain difficult to work with, but I've found a few rules help me keep my cool, and if you're like me, you're more about solutions than additional problems. So here's my rules for people who live by the motto "why be difficult when you can be impossible":
- Stay in character - There is no worse feeling than when you've done or said something you know is wrong just to get back at someone who is ticking you off. I *try* very hard not to come out of my character, no matter what. It's just usually not that deep. Make your anger so expensive that no one can afford it.
- Learn to accept the apology you're not going to get - This not only applies to difficult people, this is pertaining to any and all relationships. People will fail you; you will fail people. That's the way it is. And sometimes people are too ignorant, or even prideful to apologize. Learn to forgive them anyway.
- Do not bark up trees that will fall on you - Seriously, I walk into situations sometimes that I know are going to end in conflict. I don't know if I'm just feeling feisty those days or what, but I always regret it. If you know someone is going to give you a fight on something and you choose to do it anyway, remember you knew that before hand!
- Be the bigger person - Easier said than done, but I think our parents all (should have) taught us this. I am teaching Mino this now. If your brother wants the red block, just let him have it. Be big enough to walk away. Especially when you know that you're right about something. Life and time will teach people far more than you can - especially stubborn people.
- When all else fails REMOVE YOURSELF - This is really hard for people it seems. Not me. I will dismiss you like summer just hit. I reached a certain point in life where, as I said in my top 10 lessons, I realized this is MY life. I don't have to put up with certain people in it. And if you feel like you're telling someone not to do the same things over and over again, you're probably right. Excuse them from your space!
I am definitely not "conflict" free, but by doing the above, I've been able to decrease the amount of shenanigans exponentially. Do yourself a favor and follow suit!