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Just Licking The Floor

They tell you a lot of things when you get pregnant. It's a virtual sensory overload of unsolicited advice and horror stories. What they do not tell you, however, is that no sleep thing isn't limited to when the children are infants. 

You will NEVER sleep in again.  

Okay, maybe one day, but nowhere in the foreseeable future.  

To that end, as I've said before, I live on a LOT of caffeine. Similar to Cheers, Starbucks is the place where everybody knows my name.  

So Sunday, when I went to Starbucks to pick up coffee for my husband and I, nothing seemed special about the occasion. We left the Starbucks driveway and headed to the store for a couple random items. 

I told Mino to let mommy's crack, I mean coffee, rest next to him while we shopped. 

I told him in the fruit aisle not to try to drink it. 

I told him next to the soup to put it down. 

While I was getting cereal I reminded him about our listening ears and asked him again to keep his grabby little fingers off of my iced coffee. 

All of these warnings and yet, when I was grabbing a gallon of milk I heard it:

KA-SPLASHHHH. 

$5 of coffee on the ground. My sweet precious caffeine. 

But "no worry," I thought. I figured I'd avoid the impending caffeine headache by having a little of my husband's coffee. 

I did the "Sorry, so, so sorry!" to the poor soul with the mop who came to clean up the flood of java and dashed out of the store with what dignity I had left.

So imagine my face when we made it home - me with shopping bags in one hand, my husband's coffee in the other, only to be slammed into by a very happy Nelly, sending coffee slamming to the floor and into the carpet. 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little heartbroken.

I'd really be lying if I said I didn't want to throw a tantrum. 

I really needed that coffee. The day was pretty hard without it. 

If this should occur again and you find me licking the floor, just avert your eyes. 

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