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The Great Tampon Debacle of 2014

Thanksgiving had come and gone. We'd broken bread with family, put our pumpkins away and taken out our tree. We even got some refreshing rain and it seemed that a new season was washing over us. 

We managed to brave the Black Friday crowds with three (yes, three!) children in tow, and I spent Friday afternoon putting away our loot and making the house as tidy as could be. And then I saw it...

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Yes, that's a tampon. 

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And then another.  

Unused tampons and applicators in the oddest places and not even the brand I use.  

All.

Over.

The house.

Now as any woman would upon finding women's items that clearly don't belong to her, I initially pulled out my mental samurai sword in preparation that my husband clearly needed to die. Rest in pieces, Chris!

But without an explanation for this madness I continued to clean and then I heard the hysterical laughter of my sons. 

You know that "we're breaking/destroying/get-on-punishment-forever" laugh? Yep, that's the one. 

I found them shooting tampons - a la "Nerf" darts - at each other.  

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When I politely asked Mino and Nelly where they got their colorful toys, they produced this bag with what's left of my sister's tampons. 

So three things here: 

1: Good thing she was done with these and is on her way back to Nevada where, hopefully, she has more!  

2: I clearly jump to strange (and gross?) conclusions - fine, I can deal! I have a vivid imagination.

3: Kotex, what the hell are you thinking making skittle colored tampons? I must live under a rock because my stuff isn't nearly this expressive. 

So when I explained to the small people that they can't shoot these colorful mini darts at each other, Mino only had one question - "what are they then?"  

CRAP! Say something, QUICK!

My answer? 

"Not for you."  

And I dashed out of there like there was no tomorrow.

Judge me not! 

 

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