To my darling boy:
I've watched you with admiring eyes from your very first breath. My pride and joy. Lately though, I see so much of me in you. Part of me is proud, part of me is worried. You see, I'm a couple decades ahead of you in this rat race we call life, and being me, with all it's advantages and flaws, hasn't always gotten me in the best of situations.
My mother, your granny, told me when I was small like you, "I can die tomorrow, and I can't leave you a million dollars; but I can leave you my words." And though granny is still with us, her words have certainly carried me.
If I could leave you my words, I would tell you all the things I can't go back and tell myself.
Things like SLOW DOWN! You remind me of me, so eager to be a grown up. Trust me it will come soon enough, and with it, so many things I wish I could walk through for you but can't. Don't take everything so serious just yet! I never met a 5 year old who keeps time, but you do. You're on top of things that don't concern you, and I know when I'm worried, you worry. DON'T!
You don't always have to be perfect. I didn't realize how much of a perfectionist I was until I became a mother. You and your brother are my daily curve balls. I thought I could do it all, and I can... Just not at once, and not perfectly. And that's A-ok. It took me a long time to reconcile that I wasn't as on top of it as I used to be. Don't take as long as I did to let your hair down. You'll be loved no matter what, all that matters is you try.
It's okay to be YOU! Today your teacher told me you told a story about how you were going to get a step daddy like another little girl. I know daddy is strict, but he's not going anywhere bud! I see you try to fit in. I tried too. But you, like me, are extraordinary as you are, my dear. People made me feel like I needed to fit into some mold for a very long time! But we'll always laugh a little too loud, we'll always be animated, a little too type A but too cool for school at the same time. It's alright - the people who like that sort of thing will find you.
Hold on to your faith. You are one God fearing little boy. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you. Don't ever think you're less of a "man" for knowing that you're a mere mortal! Keep God at the head of your life. Know that I rest well at night in knowing that God forbid, if I was no longer here, you know how to pray, and because of that, you will never be alone or without guidance.
Since you're still learning to sound things out, let alone read, I'll just leave this here for the appointed time. As your daddy says - nothing ever leaves the internet.
I love you,